An AI Tries to Reason with Scary Clown

Here’s the deal. It’s Halloween night. The entire neighborhood is already crawling with kids in creepy costumes and creepy adults in superhero costumes. But you screwed up. Again. This time, you forgot to plan a costume. What to do?

Don’t worry. UNU, the people-powered Artificial Intelligence is here to help. First, we asked UNU to predict the best and most popular costumer for Halloween this year. There was a lot of stiff competition, from the ubiquitous sexy Harley Quinns you’ve already seen a dozen times today, to everyone’s favorite Senator from Vermont. But, lucky for you, all you need to do to crush Halloween this year is find your worst-fitting suit, your biggest wig, and a bottle of spray tan.

Trump Most Popular

Whatever you do, do not show up to the party empty-handed. And that means, you better bring some candy with you. Of course, depending on your age and whether or not your state has passed its legalization proposition ( or will do so next week on Election Day ), other party favors might also be appropriate, but no one’s going to be disappointed when you bring a giant bag of fun-size candy. Here again, the Artificial Intelligence can help you make the right call.

Twix is best

No discussion of Halloween in 2016 can be complete without acknowledging the dark power of the Scary Clown. Though clowns have always made for popular Halloween costumes, the emergence of flesh-and-blood Scary Clowns prowling our streets has made the threat all too real. In fact, the proliferation of Scary Clowns across the internet has been rivaled in intensity only by the beloved gorilla from Ohio. So, we had to know, whose 15 minutes of fame are up?

harambe scary clown

For anyone who remembers John Wayne Gacy’s reign of terror, this is good news. We’ll soon be free of Scary Clowns and can get back to mourning Harambe with the appropriate focus and vigor. But, before we let UNU get back to its more important work, we had to know….seriously, what does an Artificial Intelligence make of the Scary Clown phenomenon?


Oh, crap. Good luck out there, people…